Authors Note: I really enjoyed putting together this poem because I really tried to portray the difference between the two characters in the novella.
I’ m normal outside
He’s evil inside
I’m Dr. Jekyll and
He’s Mr. Hyde
I try to be true
He tries to be cruel
I’ll hold you gently but
He’ll smother you
My clothes will impress you
And my claws will undress you
I’m normal outside
He’s evil inside
I’m Dr. Jekyll and
He’s Mr. Hyde
My charms will beguile you
And my arms will defile you
Me...I’m on the side of the angels
But the devil is my best friend
Sin is a way of life
Saints are for suckers
Welcome to the underworld
I start where nightmares end
Two for the price of one
Two....for the price of....one ?
I’m normal outside
He’s evil inside
I’m Dr. Jekyll and
He’s Mr. Hyde
I try to be true
He tries to be cruel
I’ll hold you gently but
He’ll smother you
My clothes will impress you
And my claws will undress you
I like the idea of the poem, and how it switches between personalities. It was interesting to read, but to me some of the lines were a bit awkward. Most of the rhyming was great, and the rhythm was good too. Good job Alex.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with Theo that some of the lines were a bit awkward but I see where you were going with them. When someone thinks about good and evil they think that they're complete opposites and that's what you tried to do here. I think that the really long repetitive lines get to be a little too much and after awhile I just wanted them to stop because you said them too much. Nice idea for a poem, good jib jab.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your poem! One thing you should improve is the sentance fluency, like Theo and Kyle said. To make it flow better, you could try punctuating the poem differently and isolate the repition you use in it. Overall, your word choice was good and the poem was great!
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